ENVIRONMENT FOCUS AND CLARITY: INGREDIENTS FOR ACHIEVING YOUR PURPOSE

The Environment we build around us can be our biggest barrier to achieving happiness, growth and authenticity. This is because it is a major determinant of our behaviour because our journey through it is intertwined with its design. It’s kind of like the lab-mouse in the maze we have built whereby the doorways, walls, and stairways determine which way the mouse travels and ultimately, the destination it reaches. In the same way, the environment we build for ourselves will always determine where we are going and where we end up. There is no denying that our environment plays a critical role in shaping our destiny.

So the best thing we can do with our environment is set about to create a sense of order about it. We need to learn to control and shape our environment – not let it control and shape us. Most critically, we need to draw on our imagination to create and build an environment that will best support our journey towards achieving our Life’s Purpose. We need to clear our path so that we can see where we are going.

Part of recreating our environment so as to create a clear and purpose-felt pathway to growth and authenticity is developing our focus. The more we develop our focus, the more we will see what it is that we want. If we are focused, our environment becomes less chaotic and confusing – more controlled and deliberate – and this further enhances the journey we are taking. The less confusion we experience, the more on path we can be.

Here’s a hint: confusion comes about when you try to figure out how you are going to get to your goal before you clearly know what your goal is.

Clarity is also an extremely important trait to bring into your environment. It helps when you find yourself stressed, confused and overwhelmed. When you are feeling like this, stop! Take a breathe… a little time out and ask yourself:

1. What is it I Really Want? What is my Purpose?

2. Where is it I need to go? Is it Clear to me?

3. How am I going to get there? Is my Environment right?

4. Who do I need to be?

This last point - Knowing who you are - stops you from identifying with the role you are playing and enables you to choose the roles and qualities in those you admire around you. This will not only allow you to stay firmly focused on your purpose, it will enhance it. It will help you know the type of person you need to be at every stage of your journey, enabling you to develop and hone those skills you require like an artist with wielding a brush. It enables you to create the Life you want to live.

MEN GROW THROUGH HEARTFELT CHALLENGE

I believe that the first steps towards achieving a pathway to Authenticity include:

• Taking responsibility for ourselves and the consequences of our actions, words and thoughts;
• Understanding true masculinity and learning how to be present as a Man;
• Constantly redefining and pursuing our own life’s purpose and directing our precious energies in that endeavour;
• Networking with other men and openly talking about quality life issues;
• Playing an active and positive role in empowering our communities.

In the next Post I will talk about some great principles that you can add to your life to help facilitate positive growth and change. These principles, used in conjunction with some of the information you’ve already read on this Blog, will really help ‘kick start’ your journey towards being an Authentic Man.

However, today I want to focus on one of the most critical tools for change you are ever likely to encounter:

HEARTFELT CHALLENGE.

“It is a heartfelt challenge to awaken to your True Identity which is more wonderful than any of us can imagine, easier to see than anything in the world, and the paradigm of sanity and health” (D. Harding, 1998).

In his first letter, the Apostle Peter sent a Heartfelt Challenge to remind hard-pressed Christians of their rich identities in Christ, and to encourage them to face their sufferings with ‘Christlike’ character.

Now you don’t have to be a Christian or have Christian ideals to appreciate the sentiment expressed by Peter in his letter. A Heartfelt Challenge is one given in love and sincerity with the intent to help facilitate growth and purpose.

It is a challenge given by someone who wants to help you become the best version of yourself that you can be.

And the important thing about a Heartfelt Challenge is that, as is evident by Apostle Peter’s example, you know that the person making it would willingly walk the same path with you should you accept their challenge.

This is important because if we look back on our lives we, as Men, know that our biggest moments of growth occurred at a time when we were challenged to the very core of our existence – pushed to the very edge of our ‘comfort zone’. The death of a loved one, a personal crisis, the experience of living through a natural disaster, the loss of a career or business – these types of events often lead to the biggest and most dramatic changes in our lives and it is often from these changes that we undergo our most significant moments of growth.

A Heartfelt Challenge provides the same possibility but in a supported and encouraged way. A Heartfelt Challenge should still see you pushed to your ‘edge’, making you step outside your ‘comfort zone’ to face new and often frightening possibilities (opportunities). The difference is that you face the challenge knowing that you are not alone – that someone has cared enough about you to commit to walking alongside you and sharing in your growth experience. History has shown that Men respond in powerful and meaningful ways when confronted with a Heartfelt Challenge.

REMEMBER: MEN GROW THROUGH HEARTFELT CHALLENGE

So how should we respond when given the opportunity of a Heartfelt Challenge?

Here are some basic tenets:

• See every challenge in life as an opportunity to grow;
• Have the courage to face your fears;
• Become a Master of change;
• Praise, inspire, and act from strength firmly focused in the Heart;
• Have an open mind and be responsible for your words, thoughts and actions;
• Be aware that our perception is limited and that there are always greater possibilities waiting to be claimed;
• Be kind to yourself, smile, and re connect to life;
• Know that your life is your creation.

OUR CHOICES: THEY CAN HAVE UNLIMITED POTENTIAL OR THEY CAN TIE US DOWN

We all wear Masks.

We wear our Mask in everything we do and every time we communicate with those around us – even those closest to us: our partners and loved ones.

Generally our Mask is made up of our life experiences, our education and our upbringing; and it exists as a representation of how these three factors have shaped our perception of life.

We use our Mask to communicate to the world around us, to radiate a misconception of who we truly are and as such; our Mask becomes our primary excuse for avoiding our responsibilities and not fulfilling our purpose in this life. It becomes something we hide behind.

What would it be like if we could remove our Masks? What would it be like if we could communicate as men from the heart in an inspired way?

Let us look at this a little deeper by asking ourselves; “how can we be truly Authentic?”

The true answer to this can be a little disheartening; we can never be truly authentic – it is an unattainable goal.

However, we can pursue a path that enables us to become more and more Authentic in our Life; to strive for personal growth, to expand our horizons of experience and knowledge, and to aim at becoming the best version of ourselves that we can be. 

But we need to learn how to remove our Mask/s and wear only ourselves so that this becomes the representation of who we are in the world. If we do this, then our ‘True Face’, used in the correct way, can become a powerful tool that we can use to communicate with others, experience massive growth potential and fulfil our own life’s purpose. In this sense, our True Face becomes our primary vehicle of expression.

But even if we are wearing our True Face, our growth and who we continue to be is still determined by our experiences, education and perception of life. In this sense, even our own True Face can become a Mask: a static and false representation of who we are.

Look around you at the most authentic men you know – even they sometimes get caught up in the notion that their True Face is their the sole expression of who they are and that all that they can ever be is stated in that fixed image in time. In other words, even the best of us fall into the trap of allowing our projected selves to be expressed through the misrepresentation of a Mask.

So as much as we strive for authenticity, we must always be aware that if we do not keep ourselves in check, we may only be discarding one set of Masks for another. Therefore, in our eternal quest to be as authentic as we can be; we need to remain vigilant and be aware that the pathway to being authentic is not as straight, narrow and illuminated as we might like it to be.

Our biggest challenge in our quest to be as authentic as we can be is that with every step we take we have CHOICES. This is what sets us apart from all other living things – that as humans we understand consequence and can make choices in relation to those potential consequences. And as much as having the ability to make consequential choices is something that we should embrace as a gift, we should never forget that this gift can limit our possibilities too.

One Men’s Group facilitator I spent time with a while back used to tell us that “Awareness gave us Choice, and this was a great and powerful thing”. In many ways he is right. If we lose our Masks and allow ourselves to masters of our own destiny (in other words, if we become aware) then it stands to reason that we can now make sensible and informed choices about our growth potential – our pathway to becoming our most authentic selves.

The only problem with this position is that it relies on the assumption that in our state of ‘awareness’, we will always make sensible and powerful choices – the right choices. And here lies the problem. Do you see it?

With every choice we make there is a different consequence – and each consequence requires a different response. And how have we always responded to the consequences of our choices in the past? By putting on our Masks.

I’m sorry – the road to becoming as authentic as you can be was never meant to be easy and anyone who tells you it is is misguided themselves.

But while the road is not smooth, straight, narrow and sign-posted; it is not impossible to follow either. We can make choices and still wear our True Face – we just have to constantly reflect upon ourselves and the choices we make; and we should always look to those around us who offer to support us through heartfelt challenge.

In summary, we need to know that:

• Our choices can and do provide new opportunities for growth and change;
• But those same choices can also limit our opportunities for growth and change;
• However, it is not our choices that limit us but rather, the way we respond to them or apply them to our daily lives;
• If we express our choices with our True Face on, the potential for growth and change is limitless;
• If we express our choices behind the façade of a Mask, we inhibit our potential;
• The ultimate choice we have in making our choices is deciding whether we proceed wearing our True Face or a Mask.

Here is a simple rule to help guide you:

Anything expressed through a Mask is superficial

Anything expressed wearing our True Face is sincere, honest, heartfelt and has unlimited potential.

And you do want to make choices that are sincere, honest, heartfelt and have unlimited potential don’t you?